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Links on frangles are in non-underlined blue. Most on this particular page open up a new tab.
We've been down for awhile! We migrated from GoDaddy to DreamHost for crazy reasons only Chip can explain. Not like you've been checking :-( We haven't posted anything new in a long time. But, if you're like most people on Earth, you haven't read 1% of what's on the site anyway, so start clicking!! For the time being just think of Frangles as a great novel you bought that you can take down off the shelf and read any time you want! Of course this metaphor would throw away all the radical funness of nonlinear storytelling that only a digital medium can provide, but we all need metaphors that help us understand the universe better. Let's put all that a bit clearer just in case this is the only update anyone sees for the next year or 2 or 3. Frangles in concept is a very large nonlinear work of humorous fiction. This means that the whole thing is written in pieces (or "bricks") that can be read in zillions of different orders and still make a whole ton of sense. If that sounds cool, then go start clicking around, there's more alllll around you that explains it more (in addition to the actual stories). Just remember that different stuff was written at different times; there is no absolute unity or coherence in which all of frangles.com fits perfectly. And if any or all or some or all but none or all but all or one for all and all for one of that sounds too dizzying (i.e. if we just confused the hell out of you and have almost scared you away (though not completely as you're obviously still reading this)), DON'T PANIC!!!! You can just read the writing on Frangles that is most like a standard 300-page novel that you're used to reading. To read that, just CLICK HERE FOR THE FIRST PAGE and treat it as you would the first page of any novel, and ignore ALLLLLL the crazy $#!@ on all the rest of the site. When you get to the bottom of that page, just hit the big "next||>" button at the bottom that looks like this:
and treat the next page as page 2, and so on. Of course you can bookmark any page in your web browser (or write down the URL) to pick up where you left of. Remember, if you see ANYTHING CONFUSING, just keep scrolling down and hitting that next link at the bottom of every page, and you should get through the entire novel called "Writer's Bricks". (The book is over when clicking "next" brings you back to the first page.)
In general, we don't really know where Frangles is going if it's going anywhere, it's just a bit frozen right now, but once you've read everything that's here (about the year 2049), check back once a year or something like that because something is bound to happen eventually..... <Can someone please insert a witty ending to this year's--err, this month's--update? I can't think of anything, I just bored myself to death lecturing idiot newbie freers of the basics of Frangles for lack of anything better to update them with. Hey Orbo, do you think you can.. Orbo?... Orbo--?... Orbo!!?!?!> <Who's Orbo?> <Who was that!?> <Okay I think we just lost everybody> <Who the hell changed the font to Verdana!?> <Nobody's reading this!!!> <Hey why didn't this update tell anyone about Rad Run? That could sort of be considered the current Frangles project> <It's related to a potential patent, remember? You-know-who's a Nazi about keeping everything secret until it's all legally protected> <Also Rad's manager told us to go straight to hell so we can't say what we're doing online> <WHY ARE WE IN VERDANA!?!?> <Sorry...here!!> <Oh thank God, Comic Sans, I can breathe!> <Has anyone noticed we're turning increasingly gray?> <Oh, you found Gray? Where was he?> <wtf, there's no Frangles character named gray> <There is now> <Why are we being increasingly fourthwalse if there's no chance anyone's reading down this far> <I think this update's friter just got bored> <or crazy> <Pik, take it from here> <Oh btw Pik's from Blorkk>
In response to the frillions of freers who want us to move past the 4 fractal wallpapers we've posted in 8 years (that's 2 per year, right??) into the realm of HD & 4K video, we're preparing a new killer-cool fractal animation, vaguely similar to the above video that was on our YouTube page for years but that we've re-uploaded with music (by Squish) and in a higher resolution, "1440p" or 2560 x 1440 pixels, the exact rez of the original rendered frames (though YouTube just had 1080p at the time). While the above video is somewhat franglic, the new video will be especially franglic. If you're really anxious, you can download an extremely low-rez preview (36 meg) if you like. We're rendering this in at least 4K UHD (3840 x 2160 px). Over on the wallpapers page should be a super-high-rez frame from the coming animation (unless someone has been lazy and hasn't posted it yet). You can go over to frangles.com/wallpaper yourself and see. If it's not there just delude yourself that the topmost image is a frame from the video and we'll clear everything up later. FYI, the Frangles YouTube page is basically youtube.com/XanglesPrime where "Xangles Prime" refers to a vifa^ centralized place to experience Frangles, Xangles, Blorkk, SkipFron (experimental place for you to write your own nonlinear fiction; you can log in as admin with the password "test" but read the rules first and don't screw too much up--though don't worry if you do, we have backups obviously... obviously??.. Chip? Squish? Jet? Kolphin?... Where the hell are the backups!? Orbo, did you--oh dear), etcetc. Completely aside, does anybody know whether it's literarily proper to use a double dash for a hyphen in the middle of a parenthetical but not include another double-dash hyphen? Because if not, I'm still in the middle of a hyphenated phrase, assuming full sentences can be included inbetween one double-dash hyphen and a consecutive one. Is anyone still reading this update?
Other exiting stuff (and also exciting stuff... did you catch that one? You probably didn't because it was a typo before it was a joke, or maybe "typo" is overplaying it in defense of the hideous accusation of MISSPELLING; you probably still don't have any idea what I'm talking about; here's a hint if you're especially daft or not paying attention: it has something to do with the fact that "EXITING" has no "C" and is generally a completely irrelevant word to put before the word "stuff") has gone on this month, but it's either:
A) not worth telling about
B) subject to the rancid laziness of all things Xangles and Frangles, including the laziness of whether or not to tell you about it or something or am i still in a complete sentenceseszzz...sorry i'm tired from squeezing the "frangles" letters into the latest wallpaper and can't finish mry srentenczz
C) not happened yet, since this entry is being written early-June but just dated "June" so that if you read this frupdate late-June you'll generally think that we posted the blurb mid-June (mid-June being the average of early-June and late-June and the most likely time to have written a general June update)
D) covered retroactively in future and/or past updates
[^ vifa = "vague idea for a(n)"]
As I was filling out your commendably diligent "Description writer" field of a fractal's Image Properties under the "Description", I realized there was no "Description writer writer" field. How is anyone supposed to write a description, and credit themselves as the writer, without getting credit for their manner of revealing themselves? I wrote a Pulitzer article about myself in your "Description writer" field and now there is ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE ON EARTH TO TELL ANYBODY THAT I WAS THE ONE WHO WROTE THE ARTICLE. People will think it's a biography and NOT AN AUTOBIOGRAPHY because they won't have any idea that I wrote my own "Description writer" description. How am I supposed to publish a Pulitzer-winning article if no one will EVER KNOW that I'm the person who described myself? Can you PLEASE for the love of all that is holy add a "Description writer writer" box, a "Description writer writer writer" box, and an option to create a user-specified number of additional "Descripton writer writer etc., etc." field categories. For reference I wrote this letter myself but it was highly revised by my secretary.
Squish has updated his YouTube page (technically called "Squish 7 Rif", but on URL youtube.com/SquishToGo his original account name) with a bunch of videos. Here's one that's a little franglic. It's not funny but some of the graphics are fractally and cool (from MilkDrop visualizer by user Martin, used with permission). Who knows what Frangles is exactly, we haven't been doing much here. But we keep things up to date and always keep our bulsh promises fresh that you'll log on tomorrow and see huges plethoras of stuff (yes we know the word "plethora" and showcase it often because it's the only advanced literary word we know; that and "penultimate", that has something to do with scribbling down ultimate-frisbee plays). Oh, the video is also franglic because it experiments a bit with whatever Squish is experimenting with...I'm not sure...especially bad because this is Squish writing this update. (Might explain the plugs.) I've also updated my news page with a pretty long blurb that will bore you to death. Can you tell I haven't done much franglic lately?
CHIP AND JET INTERRUPT SQUISH'S LAME PLUG FOR HIS COMPLETELY FRANGLESLESS AND HUMORLESS MUSIC VIDEO TO BRING YOU SOMETHING VERY SLIGHTLY MORE RELEVANT FROM HIS CHANNEL: ALL 5 "NOT EPIC KITTEN" VIDEOS WHICH ARE JUST 5 SONGS FROM HIS FIRST ALBUM EACH WITH A COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT PICTURE OF A KITTEN YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT WHILE YOU LISTEN TO THE SONG BECAUSE KITTENS ARE CUTE AND POPULAR AND EVERYBODY IS SEARCHING FOR KITTENS BUT NOT SQUISH. IT'S JUST SAD.
2016 April 4
Has anyone ever told you about April Fools week? No? That's good. We'll spare you the rest of the week. er, joke. jweek? weoke? jweeoke?...
2016 April 3
No one has ever written 3 frupdates 3 days in a row. Are you kidding? This is being written on November 12, 2019.
2016 April 2
Whawaaaiiiwaait!!! I meant to play an April Fools joke on all you freers^. As you know...wait, I don't have to finish this entry because a good April Fools joke would be that you don't get an April 2 entry... at least it would be if it were April 1st and not April 2nd. FYI, if you know Frangles or Xangles at all, you're absolutely and totally aware that this entry and yesterday's entry is being written absolutely nowhere near any ballpark of any planet of any galaxy near the actual dates we're saying these entries were posted on. For more on April Fools nonsense go read the Xangles News page from the first entry (at the bottom) all the way up. Note the page's first entry was April 1. Maybe a coincidence. Maybe not... who knows such things. Only the oracle.
[^ a freer is a "Frangles reader" or "fractal reader"]
2016 April 1
No news :-( Go read. 2 novels' worth of prose around here. To make it easy, start here and click next at the bottom of each page and consider the string of pages the equivalent of a badly organized 300-page novel.
2016 March 1
A. New. Frangles. Wallpaper. Has. Been. Posted. Not a Xangles wallpaper (of which there are trillions; just a handful are online) or a Blorkk wallpaper (of which there are a scant handful), no, a FRANGLES WALLPAPER. There are now a total of FOUR. Frangles. Wallpapers! Whoohoo! Why is this so special when we always talk on Xangles about building a library of 70 megagajillion fractals to invade the known universe with? Because FRANGLES wallpapers come with a BRIEF INFINITESIMAL STORY BLURB WRITTEN NEXT TO IT. This makes FRANGLES wallpapers EXPONENTIALLY more valuable and viral than a library of 70 megagajillion useless fractals! (FYI, if you have absolutely NO !@#$ idea what balance of honesty, genuineness, satire, sarcasm, wit, and/or mockery, is being self-juggled in the tone of this blurb, don't worry, you're just like every other person on the face of this ku including the friter friting this frupdate. We CAN tell you with absolute certainty that our language and actions are always diabolically calculated and honed with razor precision. NOT.) ANYWAY: Why haven't you seen anything else posted here in a half-year than a new set of wallpapers? Well, whu-wayy-whah!? For real? You're actually asking that? You apparently have NEVER BEEN HERE, so you better start clicking around like NOW.
2015 Nov to 2016 Feb (4 months)
For over four months you've been suspensefully biting your cliche-deterrent equivalent of what you bite when you don't care if your friter is about to hit you with a cliche about suspenseful nailbiting, frondering whether the worst non-joke of all time "New news (what other kind is there?)" posted in the last update, was ever, ever going to be repeated or re-used by anyone, anywhere. Just to save you a little bit of sifting trouble (as we know you've been searching the entire internet manually just to make sure no one re-used the joke), we've refrained from posting anything at all here for four months. (Insert usual excuse jargon about how we're either super-lazy and have been up to nothing at all anyway, and/or are building multiphasic empires so secret you're just going to have to stay tuned to see if it's all air or not.)
2015 Oct 13
New news (what other kind is there?) posted on Xangles.com/news.
2015 Sep 23
News has been posted on Xangles and XFSA. Not much of anything other than more blurbs telling you nothing at all is going on or ever will be, and assuring you that visiting THIS page will be much more rewarding real-time-wise. If you get too dizzy from clicking in circles and forget where there's anything of value, note that there are significant developed imagery for wallpaper use at Xangles.com/wallpaper [this is JUST FOR your personal DESKTOP WALLPAPER, this is NOT FREE STOCK ART to use for ANY other purpose... this may change, we don't know; until then don't use ANY image at this time for any purpose other than putting it as your wallpaper, thank you!], and there's an entire series of interlinked prose modules ("prose bricks") here on frangles.com that form the equivalent of a 300-page novel. If you're confused about any of the massive infrastructure, you may imagine this as a simple page-by-page novel: Start here, and just click "next" at the bottom of every page, and bookmark where you left off at. The story should make a LOT of sense when read in the context that it's a standard paperback cover-to-cover novel, but remember that it's not exactly constructed to be such. Read all around frangles.com for more about our nonlinear/fractal reading/writing structure. Also experience it at skipFron.net.
2015 Sep 16
All (blue) links on this page (frangles.com/up) now open a new window or tab when clicked, except the links to news pages of other years above to the right of the green bar (2009, 2010, and 2011, and note that the blue links on those pages do NOT create new windows). We try to do this sparingly, but it's become prudent for this page. Opening fresh windows and giving leave-confirmation warnings aren't meant to be abused. It's annoying if you have 20 tabs/windows open when everything could have been kept easily in one window. Unnecessary pop-up windows can also be annoying. There are genuine times to utilize the leave-confirmation message that stops you from leaving a page when you close it, such as if you're editing text and haven't saved your work, but many sites use it simply to keep you from going away. In the case of our scroll-boxes which are heavily used on the site, clicking links can become annoying because when you hit "back" on your browser, the box resets to the top, then you have to scroll back down and find your place each time. Sometimes we have 3 or 4 links in a single paragraph, so if you check all of them out then came back here, you'd have to scroll back down to that paragraph several times. Anyway, now you know what the links do, so you may click each or not based on wherever the infinite chaotic winds of time land your particular whim when each choice is upon you...
Here, try it: link - link - link - link - link
2015 August (general)
This month Squish (or "Squish 7 Rif" or whoever he wants to be now, see squish7.com/rif for whatever he's up to under this alias) has posted a boatload of videos. Here is one relevant to Frangles (see more desc in this yellow box below the video; you may of course also click around on the actual video on all the crap youtube brings up for you to play with). Visit Squish 7 Rif on: youtube / squish7.com / google+
This is an "epic" tour (to use Squish's silly fad-bending terminology) of the Mandelbox set fractal, programmed by MilkDrop visualziation author Martin (or "Nitorami" on the MilkDrop Preset Authors Forum), and put to an extended 45-min ambient version of Squish's 2-min song "Space Dolphins" (the 2-min available on iTunes. Search for "Squish" on iTunes and click the vivid album with the smiley yellow face; other albums labeled Squish may not be his). This video strongly relates to Frangles in any way that Frangles relates to fractals! Exploring fractal fiction on Frangles ("fractal fiction" being a more advanced term for "nonlinear fiction" as we've developed the latter) can be much like the "epic" above parkour video...freerunning video? wait, I'm getting confused with this smorgasbord of terminology. More on this video later (maybe!)...
"Squish 7 Rif" is what Squish as his egomaniacal multiself has declared he wants to be called now, and as he as titled his YouTube and G+ channel "Squish 7 Rif" EVEN THOUGH THE ACTUAL YOUTUBE AND G+ URLS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH THE TERM "SQUISH 7 RIF" AND NOW !@#$ UP ALL MY CHERISHED SEO ADVICE TO HIM.
Note that the above video constitutes the VERY FIRST successful video-imbedding in the history of.. well... this updates page anyway (frangles.com/up) (If you can't see the video, this is YOUR OWN DAMN FAULT, not mine!) Yes, there are higher-level media formats than prose stories, and yes, textual prose will eventually become COMPLETELY archaic at some point during the progression of the future of humanity (or perhaps already). In any case, the above video is a boring EXPERIENCE for you rather than a story that challenges your imagination, courtesy us and "Squish 7 Rif" (click for s7r on: youtube / squish7.com / google+).
Also visit: The MilkDrop homepage. MilkDrop is a free music visualization plug-in for the free media player Winamp. Download and install Winamp to install MilkDrop (it comes included with a standard Winamp install). (You may have to obtain particular music visualization presets elsewhere; see the MilkDrop homepage for relevant links.)
The MilkDrop vizualization preset used in the above video is:
martin - mandelbox explorer - high speed demo version
This means the MilkDrop preset author Martin has designed this visualziation entitled "mandelbox explorer - high speed demo version".
It's featured in the above video via Martin's loose general permission.
2015 August 30
Chip would like to inform everyone of two things: 1) Many of the text boxes on frangles.com (such as the one you're reading) have been heightened from 510 to 617 pixels, due to the massive pressure to yield to higher-level technologies and internet connection speeds (insert plug for Frangles.mobi). 2) He accidentally crashed the known multiverse for a half-hour on Sunday morning, August 30, 2015, by discovering a freak bug on skipFron.NET (a place where YOU may experiment writing nonlinear fiction akin to Writers Bricks; in fact most of Writers Bricks is posted at the top of the main skipFron.NET page, which you may fool around with by logging in as Admin with the password "test") that kept crashing the main domain. For a period of time, you personally actually had the power to crash the entire skipFron.NET domain by editing a brick as admin and inserting a certain character sequence. In light of this multiverse crash, we ask you strictly NOT to experiment with skipFron.NET by entering endless strings of jibberish text into prose bricks trying to duplicate the multiverse crash. You may actually crash the domain. Thank you!
Do note that a dire consequence of this catastrophic multiverse crash (can you tell yet that I'm poking fun at Chip's melodramatic exaggeration of this incident, whatever the actual incident technically is, as it's now become too fictional for you to parse?) are the COMPLETE AND UTTER RETROACTIVE OBLITERATION OF ALL JULY FRUPDATES.
ALL JULY FRUPDATES COMPLETELY OBLITERATED BY THE CATASTROPHIC MULTIVERSE FAILURE OUTLINED IN THE ABOVE AUGUST FRUPDATE. If you are at all confused about whether or not there actually were any July frupdates to begin with, you should make a note to check in continuously every single moment (not just minutely or hourly or daily or weekly or monthly or yearly or decadely or lifetimely or whatever humorous terms should follow in this sequence) with frangles.com/up since you now know that there is some type of possibility that things are being posted and then deleted without your knowledge on some type of temporal basis. However, if you really, truly do NOT want to check in continuously every single moment with frangles.com/up (where you are) for new frupdates, then make a mental note of the general rate that updates are being posted at any given time. For instance, this is a monthly post amongst monthly posts, so this year may not be the best year to check into frangles.com/up every single day. However, on another month you may find that there are daily updates being posted. At such a time it may be more prevalent to check in here on a more daily basis. (This is all general obviousness, but now you know especially formally.)
We would like to begin by confessing this update is being posted early-July. Now that you know we occasionally do things backwardsish (or forwardsish), we'll return you to the update you never began reading because it hasn't started yet. At least not the real one.
REAL UPDATE>> (note it's not a "Top-page note>>") A few meager lines have been appended (that's geek talk for "added") to Frangles Not Spam page 3. That's about all you get this month, but at least you've read an update that could have been funnier if it had at all utilized the infinitesimally successful fourthwalse humor style of the May update, conveniently not removed right below, so you may or may not read it now.
Chip: Dude, you just killed someone.
Chip: Literally. I am more positive than I have ever been about anything, that somewhere someone just keeled over dead at your dual double-enlarged hideous showcasing of your otherwise- only- near-fatal double pun.
Squish: That's too much doubling. I only said "may" twice.
Chip: But both font sizes are 2 sizes up from the smaller text.
Squish: Wow, that's really milking it. Anyway, if you want to make a big deal of it, why not just allude to our vocab term "mot" which already means "may or may not" (or "may" or "might" or whatever else is posted in the Xangles/Frangles Index of Terms)
Chip: I didn't think of it.
Squish: I can't think of a good line to end this frupdate on.
Elisha Cuthbert: Maybe stick someone else in? Someone hot?
NEW STUFF!!!! HOLY MURTHFF--- SMGHKGHGRFFf-!@#$
Announcer from Frangles Not Spam page 3: It's not actually May yet.
Chip: Yah, but it will be by the time anyone actually reads this. Now you've told you the whole !@#$ world that we occasionally update things ahead of time.
[insert bottomless wall of text here continuing to mimic/parody the format of Frangles Not Spam page 3 - the first new writing around here in like forever]
Douglas Adams: But you said new "stuff", you've only mentioned one page.
Us: Well, that and Frangles Not Spam page 4!
Douglas Adams: But page 4 is a half-assed cop-out.
Us: It's still funny.
Chip: EVERYBODY!! REAL REAL PEOPLE!! LISTEN UP!! When you read Frangles Not Spam page 3...
Squish: Ugh, I knew this was coming.
Chip: ...Keep in mind it's all founded on REAL REAL REAL search-engine issues. Just by clicking the links above (in blue; they are indeed links even in the absence of underline formatting; you may already know this is if you've ever accidentally clicked on anything in blue on any Frangles update), you may be SINGLE-HANDEDLY CRIPPLING our entire marketing infrastructure, so read it just in the way an engineering employee in a poorly-run company reads Dilbert. We haven't posted new writing for quite awhile (bear in mind that Frangles is partially a long-term writing project, and especially bear in mind that there are already 2 novels' worth of writing here, though you have to find it!), so this new writing is a big deal. (Frangles Not Spam is an ongoing skit-prose based saga that is rarely extended, just like our other 40-million components that are equally rarely updated.)
^ [As a bonus if you actually read this !@#$ footnotes, here's the blurb that was here just before we added the Frangles Not Spam stuff: Not there yet! (i.e. not May yet!) But you're probably reading this in December, so just pretend there's a relevant May update here (assuming "May" isn't short for something else, given "Apr" and "Mar" just below stand for longer words of some sort).]
BIG STUFF here! (Sort of.) Since the writing of Writers Bricks (the frook with the most Frangles material written) has stagnated for so long (this is natural, not lazy, as Frangles and related sagas harbor trillions of corners of which only a few can be being furthered at any given time, at least until YOU ALL START WRITING), we've strung together all the left and right arrow links--even the tiny ones that may have not worked before--to connect ALL POSTED "Writers Bricks" bricks (each white clickable number you see in the 7 squares; each one of these is a prose "brick"), to form THE LONGEST READABLE PASSAGE EVER ON FRANGLES.COM. It's been there for quite awhile, but now you can read it completely unbroken!
Do note that the killer (as in kickass!!) and killer-written php code on skipFron.NET (by Chip) actually does this all AUTOMATICALLY for any series of bricks you read or write on skipFron.NET (which is turning more into a project for YOU to write than us, akin to Wikipedia where anybody can contribute and there is no central author), though we still don't consider material on skipFron.NET officially published Frangles material. That's here on frangles.com. Hence, this new readable passage (what you read when you start on this FIRST PAGE and click "next" at the bottom of each page indefinitely), constitutes the first readable 300 PLP (300 standard reading pages) Frangles frook (at least given the frangle it was all intentionally written to make sense in this order, which is very partially true given the incredible thought we put into making each brick as connectable with others as possible (like legos)).
Note that every single itty bitty left and right arrow and icon on all the pages finally work perfectly to allow you to transition forward and back through this effective published novel! Just ignore all the up and down arrows; they're haphazardly placed and some of them are even broken (or just don't take you where they should).
[Do note that there are some inconsistencies with our terminology in all this. We're trying to put things as intuitively as possible for your average person parsing this update, but there's no way to put everything together in harmony with the 7-year history of terminology we've been fleshing out. Right now, consider a "frook" to loosely mean a substantial string of prose bricks such that the passage could technically be published in the real-real world as a bookstore-sellable novel. You may also continue to consider any previous notion you have of what a "frook" is, to be that definition as well (e.g. meaning a 343 consecutive brick passage, etc.!), in the way that words in general can mean different things in different contexts. And so on for other terminology in this update.]
We re-arranged the Xangles.com index page. It's less of a sitemap and more like it used to be before we made it all pluggy 6 months ago (Google didn't seem to like this!). We've also put 2 new news entries on Xangles.com/news. (Note that this is a strict confession that we entered 2 differently-dated entries at the same time. Those are the sorts of intimate details you get when you follow things here on frangles.com/up! Check the Xangles news page for horridly fourthwalse humor justifying this metaphysical temporal breach and violation of your basic rights to get accurate information on what happens around here.)
Ditto! (to previous entry, below this; if that's confusing you, you have either never visited a news page where the most recent news is at the top at the least new news at the bottom, or you're a sucker for our incessent-ins-sesss-(Orbo, how do you spell incessent--inset-apparently I have just discovered the paradox that you can't actually ask how to spell inse-nsneent-etc- if you don't know how to spell ins--insert? INSERT! Orbo, please INSERT the correct spelling of inseesnss..AGHK!) Yes, we're writers (but only Orbo can spell. Spell what? You know by now.)
Nothing new to do! This may be of great use to you as there's already 2 novels' worth of writing here that you haven't read, and any more may seem intimidating. Unfortunately, it's not 100% obvious where the bulk of the writing is, so go find it! What else do you have to do when there's nothing new to do anyway? (Oh, wait, Squish has posted a minor news update on his personal site shamelessly plugging his music, which has now mangled the cuteness of this well-written blurb because it served its purpose better when it was completely devoid of newness and lame marketing. Why don't you just ignore thie stuff in this nested parenthetical (and this one (and this (and ()))) and pretend this incident never happened.) (Oh, here's a completely random Squish rant about Mars if you want to read something 99.8% irrelevant to you.)
Squish or Rif or Chet or whoever has ultra-SEO'd and confused his future fans to hell (I say "future fans" because he doesn't have any right now) with his new alias "Squish 7 Rif" or "squish7rif" or "squishTubeRif77G+sucks" or something or other guaranteed to change next month before you ever even favorite/subscribe/follow/like him or whatever haphazard platform you're on is flashing annoyingly for you to do in your face. Soon[er or later or NEVER] to come: an apology for mocking squish7rif (I'm still doing it, FYI, it's subtle now), and more useful news of what he's up to, or will be, or whatever. I'm too lazy to paste-and-copy his infinite web of perfectly-colored and user-friendly-sized links into this box (they would crash it anyway), so if you like Squish or Rif or Chet or whoever, just check in at: squish7.com
Squish has started a Google+ page forked from his YouTube page.
We've started a Frangles page on Google+ too, but nothing on it just yet (follow us!)
Still on askew projects, nothing directly Frangles, but they may become Frangles-related eventually. Remember there are 2 novels' worth of finished prose bricks here, so you can thumb around quite a bit any time you like without needing to have anything new going on.
Two major things: 1) The Xangles.com main page is absolutely completely revamped, and by "revamp" we don't mean vampires.. Whoops! I just doubled our hits for the month by inadvertly upping our keyword efficiency by mentioning vampires. Actually, we do have a character called "Vip" who's a vampire, or maybe he just thinks he's one, we haven't quite decided, I guess it depends on your frangle, that's a new vocab word you've never heard before, no, "frangle" not "vampire", or maybe that too, FYI, Vip's supposed a "bitpire" to cleverly merge vampire lore with the new digital age, but as you now know if you didn't know before, that's not going to do !@#$ for our SEO. We have to type "vampire" and "free fractal fiction, fractal art, and free stuff in general" once a nanite, sorry, once a minute, are you confused yet because I don't know how this paragraph started and I'm damn well going to look back now to see what I was supposed to be covering this deep into today's VAMPIRE-free and nonlinear fiction-FREE get it, like "free of vampires" and "free of fiction" so we can say vampire-free and fiction-free, using "free" in a different sense so we can excuse using the term--oh wait, vampire-free and fiction-free would mean NO vampires and NO fiction, not the opposite. Ah, alas, we now have to link you to some vampire fiction and free fractal art. Nevermind, my net connection is flaky and I have no time to post anything else, just click around!!! Quick!!
We're still dedicated to a tangent project that isn't strictly fiction, or at least isn't strictly humorous fiction. Right now we're calling it a movie framework to bring together in a blockbuster film (or at least a blockbuster storyboard!) a whole mosh pit kabob of media and concepts from various authors (many our own). While posting drafts and detailed progress reports might usually be a course of action for us, the project (alas) involves many viral, patentable methods that an unnamed one one of us (aka Chip!!!) is furiously paranoid will vaporize into the fabric of nonbeing if any spec of them is released in any manner that may even POSSIBLY CONSTITUTE PUBLIC RELEASE IN ANY PERSON'S MIND OR MATTER ON EARTH OR ANY OTHER PLANET OR POTENTIAL PLANET IN THE KNOWN MULTIVERSE.
....Hence the lack of updates.
But, stick around long-term (VERY long-term if the above html formatting got across anything) and in time you should see around here more writing, features, articles, etc.
Do note that there's the equivalent of two medium novels of stories here, so if you're any of the 7+ billion people who haven't read even half of Frangles, there's not a lot of point to updating anything anyway! ...except to give you more choices if you don't happen to like the style of what's already up. Remember the general structure of everything is not very balanced, meaning you'll have to surf around to find the bulk of the writing. That's just fun, though, so skim around and bookmark when you strike gold.
Got the redirection URLs to work a litttttle bit better. Please pray for the day they're all back together again. (And the day we get more new stuff up.) (Although that's really no problem since there's so much here you haven't read you might as well start with what's here! (2 novel's worth of stories.)) Thanks! -Chip
Item A) Squish has posted a news update on Squish7.com/news (this is extremely rare; don't check squish7.com for anything up-to-date), and made a few minor revisions to the site, including a modified bio now struggling to portray professionalism where there really isn't any.
Item B) We're progressing with a brick/story to submit specifically to Dystel & Goderich Literary Management (DGLM), referencing them as characters within the story. We figure the more personal touch we put into things, the more we can grieve when they reject it.
Item C) You're probably not going to read this line so hopefully its basic existence has served you the illusion that 3 things went on this month.
no, news, april, fools! -a splogan* by jet
After a final SWAT team attack on godaddy.com, we once and for all figured out what was wrong with the redirection URLs that were down. However, our epitome laziness and lack of absolute (or even much or any) commitment to our readers is taking precedence to fixing the htaccess files. But don't worry, they'll slowly improve as you get sick of 404s and start hallucinating that everything is working completely properly. [To be completely clear and serious for our third time ever, this a very minor problem. It just means a few stray hyperlinks from XYZ page won't go to ABC page. You can always access the pages directly by going to frangles.com and clicking the main stuff.]
A new semifinished brick drafted. Almost entirely standalone, doesn't connect to much, just a random something to keep the G bots classifying the page as active! Read just below if you'd like to know what's occupying most of our time. Remember to alwauys check back occasionally! We go back and forth between periods of frequent posting, and the standard long wait of really good fiction (e.g. full novels!). Remember there's still material live you haven't read yet (1-2 novels worth of writing).
2014 (all year)
This year we'll be putting our primary focus into a film framework that will largely utilize Frangles' writing and humor style. While it's a bit early to bring anything from Frangles straight to film, it's not too early to colaborate! Or coorporate! Or kualaporate! Or something like that. Not making sense. Project too big. Just click here. And/or stay here and read stuff. Remember, we already have about 2 novels' worth of stuff written, much online here. There's a lot to explore, don't let a lack of updating mislead you to thinking this isn't a place to spend all your daily hours!
No updates due to writers' strike!! (not incompetence!!) But if it were due to incompetence, we'd remind you it's perfectly reasonable for writers to write for extended periods without publishing. Our ideal goal is to always have a lustrous, dynamic, active site with all sorts of short- and long-term projects to explore and keep up to date with, but right now we're just in long-term writing mode. CBCBCB!
We've decided we can tell you a little more about the screenplay we're involved in (where our writing time is currently dedicated). Unfortunately, we haven't decided to spare the time to do so quite yet. Tune in all month long to experience the real real life (RRL) saga of whether any news will be published this month other than this single noninformative paragraph. Just consider every time you hit "refresh" in your browser to initiate the beginning of a new story brick (semi-standalone storytelling module that can be used in combination with others to form all sorts of longer stories), albeit one horrifically and eerily similar to your last one (or at least every after the first). Go ahead, try it! Hit refresh right now and see if more comes up!
This month and indefinitely we'll be contributing efforts toward a screenplay that will utilize the humorous writing (and maybe a few characters) of Frangles as a key element of its construction. We sorta can and sorta can't tell you more about it as it mot involve patentable concepts, but we can tell you that it may or may not have anything to do with parkour, freerunning, the WFPF, USC, CIA, FBI, YMCA, NSA, NASA, Hopscotch, Big Bird, Squish7, the sentence James while John had had had had had had had had had had had a better effect on the teacher, and/or a whole list of endless plugs that will help give our friends or would-be friends or people we have nothing to do with, a tiny notch up in their SEO, just for fun, kicks, or spite.
We want to remind you here that Frangles is only a half-online project. While there are periods we write bricks (modular semi-standalone pieces) that can be posted/published here instantly, there are plenty of standard book-writing or script-writing processes we also follow (i.e. that may require something be written over a long period without publishing regular segments of it), but that you'll surely like eventually when a particular project is finally published or produced, etc. We'll keep you posted, so check back, check back, check back!!!!
Just remember, there's always more here you haven't read! Just keep exploring and you'll get to the parts with serious bulk material that you've unlikely combed for things you haven't read yet. Even if you've actually read everything there is here, the nonlinear fun of Frangles is that there are practically infinite permutations of the modular bricks that can make new stories, so if you actually get to a point where you've read everything (or everything you like reading), just start again and surf the writing a different way, and you'll be further exploring the concept of nonlinear fiction.
If you're really exhausted, you can go WRITE YOUR OWN NONLINEAR MATERIAL with/at SkipFron, a place/method a little like Wikipedia where you and others can contribute small pieces toward a larger goal/project. Another thing you can of course do is surf Frangles-related projects like Blorkk, Xangles, and the homepage of Squish (Squish7.com)
It's been a year since we've posted any new writing and our normally timeless and indestructable procrastination bulsh is actually starting to buckle under the stress. It would be a traumatic time indeed if our normally timeless and indestructable procrastination bulsh were seriously in danger, but seeing how our normally timeless and indestructable procrastination bulsh--in addition to our ability to copy-and-paste precise phrases like "normally timeless and indestructable procrastination bulsh" multiple times to distract from the fact this entry is less creative and more thought out than it really is--is simply *beginning* to buckle and is not in any danger of seriously buckling any time soon (insert really clever phrase here my brain is too fried to go on with), our general corner on procrastination distraction methods will continue for quite some time. We might even find ways of reinforcing it, diminishing this cloaked rubbish of excuses and distractions to nothing more than a momentary phase.
Now that we've lost 99% of the people who started reading this update and got dizzy or ticked off and left, we'll tell the remaining 1% troopers what's been going on just for the hell of it. We've--oh wow, look at the time, so sorry guys, we have to run. Tune in next month for the continuing saga [of why we haven't posted new material, etc.]
We will mention one key thing: There's already an extraordinary amount to read here; maybe the equivalent of about 2 novels of writing in all capacities, so if you're new to Frangles, please dive in an have a blast. If you're alreeady read a lot, you can go on and read the rest! Or better yet, you can actually write and share your very own nonlinear writing. That should be enough to keep you all occupied for a few years...
We apologize for the fraudulent fourthwalse^ humor in last month's update, which to be funny relied on the scenario that the post was only up for a very short window. It retro, since it was never changed, and is now--barring a freak temporal frwoa^ static anomaly--in danger of being up indefinitely, or even forever (the latter is unlikely given the general widely accepted axiom that nothing lasts forever except nothing itself), it becomes increasingly less funny and more contrived as time goes on. On the plus side of things, at least it wasn't our fault, because we have the flawless record of rancid, unpredictable, sporadic procrastination necessary to leave a one-day joke up indefinitely. On the negative side of the plus side, we probably knew perfectly damn well subconsciously what was going to happen given that on the whole it was about the only thing we were capable of doing in the scenario. On a sliver lining note, at least we completely overlooked the opportunity to optimize for search engines by at least linking to something relevant at the time. Oh, well, at least the bots saw that the page was updated for the month and refrained from sliding our "how often updated" setting entirely off the always/daily/monthly scale to just plain give up checking back. On the final side of things, at least we've learned from the mistake and will all but absolutely entirely for sure and certainly replace this useless blurb momentarily with something having something to do with being vaguely in the ballpark of informative.
[^You can go look up "fourthwalse" and "frwoa" in the Xangles Index of Terms yourself because it's been so long if ever that you've looked anything up in the XIT that you probably want to return and see all the unupdatedness going on there too that you've been missing, for instance, "fourthwalse" isn't even listed except in the "see newest entries" link at the top of the page that's been there for eons. FYI, you can return to the XIT quickly any time with the url "xangles.com/i" or "frangles.com/i". (That's "i" for "index", not you or your iPong.) (You can look up "iPong" too.)]
This month's update is dedicated to Professor Cindy Bir of Wayne State University on the off chance she clicks the signature link in Chet's email in the short window between when this joke update is being posted and when it's replaced with an actual update after realizing the page hasn't been updated after clicking the link in the email sent to her and realizing it goes here. There isn't actually anything else to say beyond that given that the whole purpose of this update is to make that joke. More on this later or if you're Cindy Bir.
<deleted as an April Fools joke to cover the mot-be-bulsh frangle that we didn't post anything for March>
Our unending war pitting productivity against procrastination has hit a wonderful harmony this month, for a completely independent party has brought forth something we've been putting off for a good while: an off-web nonlinear prose editor (called Twine, or as a command-line program, Twee.) In light of having planned to do this for so long, we're going to offer you the bulsh frangle that we actually wrote the code. We didn't, but if you just close you eyes hard enough, you can imagine this came from us! For extended fun, try downloading Twine with the links at the upper right of the Twine webpage and comparing to our nonlinear prose online editor SkipFron, a growing place to edit and share nonlinear fiction online.
Since nothing in particular seems to be going on this year (YET) (or at least nothing we ca talk about and/or publish YET) (and it's a lot), you're hereby invited to click completely at random at the above years, and YET, as that would be redundant as you're of course someone who's followed us wholeheartedly from day 1 and also redundantly and rhetorically since the start of this sentence, paragraph, update, and year's first news (as all four are the same, i.e. everything that's followed the word "Since" since you started reading from it (case-sensitivity included)), you're also invited to click randomly around Frangles, Xangles, Blorkk, and/ SklpFron, and any of the homepages and/or YouTube pages of anybody involved in Frangles, Xangles, Blorkk, and/or SkipFron, directly or indirectly or not at all, if you can think of any, because there are too many (or at the least too few) to start listing for you, at least until after the end of this sentence, paragraph, update, and year's first news, as, again, all are one in the same (for the mot^).
[^mot = "may" and/or "might" and/or "may or may not" and/or "moment" and/or "mot" and/or <insert recursive joke alluding to both and also fusing per se the tediously achieved and near-perfect grammatically correct structuring of this update/sentence/etc/etc, and the conveniently nifty upward pointiness of the carrot symbol (^) which-- from the frangle of this footnote, at least-- exists to signify our recommendation that you head back to the start of this footnote (or better yet, the whole update (or even better, the entire Frangles saga, as that's enough to keep you busy for a few years while we get other things done)) and re-parse this whole junk of mess until it either makes sense or continues indefinitely not to>]
2012 Recap >> 2013 new yars resolution >> write good 2012 recap justifying months of inactivity assuring everyone Frangles is infinitely ongoing whether or not we manage to post a damn thing during any particular period of time.
2012 Recap #2 >> 2013 New Years Resolution #2 >> work on Frangles in a way which demonstrates to others we've been busy
December>> ditto to October (not November)
November>> ditto to September (not October)
October>> This page hath been updated. God help the lazy when the google bots can tell the difference between a real update and a bulsh insertion purely to trick them into thinking things are going on around here... they are, btw, but it's still a trick...or TREAT! Bwuhaha! It all makes sense now.
September>> Still furthering the sorts of things we can't really report or prove sans boring evaluation of the query letters and the like we're submitting to literary agencies. Remember that we're often in a limbo between a constantly- updated online project, and the standard literary process of writing whooooooollle damn books before even submission for publication. There's a series of consecutive modules (nova 13.1 up to brick 13.153, posted here and here), just coherent enough to stand as demonstration of the possibility of modules composing full novels (only a secondary aim of Frangles, the first being to present a whole plethora of methods of reading the polished standalone modules, like prose legos that may be combined). Just to recap, there are about 2 novels worth of polished modules, and a 3rd novel worth of drafting of various unpolished and unposted bricks. Bear with us, and CBCBCB!
August>> Sorry we've let so much time go by folks. Hopefully you've thoroughly digested Jet's continuing lack of adventurous spirit in his quest combing Earth for information regarding proper grammar, spelling, usage, drafting, revision, and an index of thorough relaying of proper social etiquette for any particular venue (such as a *live webpage* read by a decent fraction of the human population as their primary method of keeping current with all things Frangles, Xangles, Blorkk and infinite other projects getting too legally sensitive to even *nutshell*). We're probably in the worst genuine period of "we're- up- to- so- much- we- can't- tell- you- what- we're- up- to" that we will ever be in. Also Squish is getting even more practiced in the art of obliterating his living room--and with it deadlines that if met might have generated a bit more than absolutely nothing new to read in over two and a half months--with his dexterous anti-deadline parkour proficiency. Check back, check back, check back. ("CBCBCB").
JULY nO juLy UPdartes peeps sorry maybe lisa shouldna stood me UP for our DATE or thered be UPDATES ifrur gettin the pun FYI hi sckkoool hasnnt improved my grrmar at all or at least squish saqys im in hi skool u nevvrber know with frangles i don't have a faRcebook page (WE CAN'T SAY "FACEBOOK" BECAUSE THAT'S ILLEGAL OH WAIT WHO JUST PLUMMITED THE FRILLION $$$ Fs LEGAL DIVISION INTO THE PITS OF HELL OR MBE NOT) SSS(SORRY CAPS LOCK STILL ON sOrT Of...)ssssssoo i mite still be an imarginary kid mAB thats why lisa had a sudden IMAGINARY wedding she forgot to attend of ELITE precadence to a dum sk8erboi beeeashshsh ASD,.R this has been a prose poem by yours falsely truly -Jet Fuel (ME! no not maine maines boring)
6/3>> I changed my mind. Alright, so the idea with Blorkk.com right now is that "Deeper>>" zooms in on Furglegrug's memo into the actual paper, until we enter a fractal universe (i.e. a fractal zoom) that we go far down enough in to arrive back at the memo again, and visa versa for "<<Dizzier", although this is totally haphazard and isn't near completion yet, so right now you just get lost. It's been a pain in the @$$ to complete, primarily due to the vast discrepencies between screen resolutions of devices that surf the web. (It's also because we're blah I'm too tired to write funny jokes about our laziness just keep checking in.)
6/3>> We're finally starting to update Blorkk with blah I'm too tired to write something funny just keep checking in.
5/22>> Our solid decision to begin submitting Frangles material to people in the biz more competent than we are is such a milestone on our inexorable slash ominous path toward productivity, that we're drowning in the sea of potential humor--as about half of the humor of Frangles is us poking fun at our nonproductivity--to too great an extent to actually follow through. (At least for today.) Sorry, guys. :-(
5/19 >> New brick. (We'll start explaining these things, we swear.)
5/1>> pRixel logo below improved a bit. (These logos will be explained more.)
4/30>> Alas, our April Fools joke to not post anything at all useful for the entire month of April (i.e. to conceal the fact there was nothing worth posting) (i.e. to take the entire month off) has failed.^ [^Excepting the fact that the below images are our greatest bulsh to date, given the logos themselves are about the only damn things we actually worked on this month; and you thought they symbolized something at least infinitesimally more than that. April Fools!]
4/27>> Alright alright alright alright... you want something real? Eh? Meh? Wehenh? 'K, here are some random 1080P WALLPAPERS WHOHOO to hold you off:
4/27>> The Xangles News page has been updated with a meaningless blurb directing you right back here, assuring that this page is at least frequently updated. While that may technically be true (due to the updates of the past week all posted today and backdated to Sunday, in fusion with the meaningless posts of the first half of the month and the missing week after that prior to the bulsh backdated updates still no more helpful to informing you what's been going on since the first time in this paragraph they were mentioned), it's pretty much just plain bulsh^.
[^ once in awhile we're required by federal law to inform you that bulsh is a phonetic condensation of the word "bullshit" usable for humorous purposes because it technically isn't a swear, and is even kinda fun.]
4/26>> to make this month's updates columnesque..!
4/25>> Ridiculous grammar has been inserted below..
4/24>> --going on, and other stuff etc etc etc......
4/23>> ...You'll find out next month what's been--
4/22>> Posting real news would ruin this month's formatting.
4/14>> Everything is was and will be progessing.....
4/13>> No Friday the 13th joke or prank, really!!!!!!
4/12>> No day before "Friday the 13th" joke!!!!!!!!!!!!
4/11>> No April 11th joke this year! No joke!!!!!!!!!!!
4/10>> (( 7 days of lame consecutive humor jokes spared ))
4/2>> No April 2nd Fools joke this year!!! No joke!!!
4/1>> No April Fools joke this year!!!!!!! No joke!!!!!!!!
3/26>> We mot have made a resolution today to keep Frangles more frontburneresque than we otherwise would sans the resolution. Details generally tentatively procrastinated indefinitely.
3/22>> New project for parodying the latest TV shows successfully procrastinated via the dizzying onslaught of easy ways to make fun of the pilot of the new Fox drama Touch by paralleling Kiefer Sutherland's role as an empathetic and caring father of a mute biposchizoauttenic with his former Fox role as an unstoppable terrorist-fighting badass. It was just too easy after Jack saved Mike Novick in the pawn shop from a fatal gun wound. Really, Fox, give us a challenge.
3/16>> Frangles.Mobi has been updated! In particular, the beta bricks page (a ton of bricks worth reading, also on SkipFron) is much better formatted, and includes two new draft bricks with tentative tacit approval from the unlikely soul and artistic discipline they satire. You'll have to find them yourself, though, as punishment for not knowing the list of bricks by heart so well you can identify new entires immediately. (If it helps at all, they're the first two active/linked bricks on the list.)
3/7>> Dear spider bots, we haven't done much this week, but please accept this memo as a sign we keep this page up-to-date. You might see it a lot in the future, so don't sweat the redundancy penalties.
2/25>> XFSA is completely launched and live. Well, except for there only being a handful of images, a tad short of the ominously skeptical promise of hundreds to thousands. And for...wait, no, there isn't a long list of deficiencies to carry on the joke of declaring its launched and live and then contradicting it with an endless stream of prose. It really, really has only that tiny deficiency. Just that ooone tiny flaw (nothing to actually buy). BUT...we're working on it. And not in the sense that we're saying we're working on it but aren't at all. More in the sense that we've become so tired of making jokes about that we're so lazy we can't even afford the effort to walk in the next room and upload a flash drive of the BILLIONS of images we have, that we've finally broken down and decided to do it. Really. Don't believe us? Check back in 2 weeks and see once and for all if we're as full of bulsh as we always say we are.
2/14>> So apparently we should have told you that the "<<NEW BRICK!!" didn't make a hell of a lot of sense without reading the "also revised" bricks presented less emphatically after the fact. This is still good news, because now you can eliviate your confusion of why it didn't make any sense when you read it. Or something like that. ANYWAY, if you weren't already, you can keep up to date with what's working (not much) of Xangles.FractalStockArt.com. It should be alllll totally working and everything pretty darn soon (promise) (and by "promise" we strongly include the presence of the word "should", which of course to us (in such context) has a COMPLETELY different meaning than it normally would (or it should) (see?) (ORBOOORbBoobo....)
2/7>> sF.7.227 <<NEW BRICK!! (Yes, we do our jobs now and then.)
Also revised: sF.7.111 | sF.7.112 | sF.7.113.
Please ignore the nerdy^1 brick number, it will be explained at the end of time. Suffice to say, "sF" is short for "skipFron", and "7-227" is a tentative brick number in the current skipFron structure. The "sF.7" will be replaced by an unknown two-digit Frangles number, i.e. sF.7.227 will be Frangles brick <??-727>, meaning we don't know what the first two digits will be, but the last three will be 727. See structure page for more on this, but keep in mind the structure of Frangles and all the interconnected Xangles projects is probably more convoluted right now than it will ever be. Great reason to... check back, check back, check back ("CBCBCB").
[^1 - insert artist/geek humor/blurb/rant here that no one would bother reading]
2/3>> Just a link for SEO purposes, nothing to see here.
1/31>> Check out the very first Xangles bussiness card:
1/30>> After a viciously ineffable and globally controversial debate, FractalStockArt.Xangles.com will now be Xangles.FractalStockArt.com, purely as a favor to our more dyslexic freers. In SEO terms, this means more business, as "fractal stock art" is a widely known term, and "Xangles" is not. Why not choose the latter to begin with? Ah! This is because we didn't own Xangles.FractalStockArt.com. Now we do, and doing is half the battle (G. I. Joe!). Erm? Today's update not sponsored by anyone who gave a damn about it.
1/26>> Introducing...drum roll...annoyance drum roll wasn't bracketed or made italic or something to signify it was a *noise* rather than being spoken or read or whatever...Chip's lecture the previous elipses have created nonwhitespace string lengths blah blah blah...
(an under construction page for): FRACTAL STOCK ART . XANGLES . COM
This would of course be quite a thing if not for the hidden catch phrase in parentheses preceding the above (clickable) URL, and the ominous, inexorable, foreboding, 7th-septagon-of-hell intrinsic-to-Frangles feeling that the entire Xangles Fractal Stock Art project consists exactly of the under construction page the slew of nonclickable links you meet when you go to the main index page, even despite the credibility of productivity we gain with the NEW REVISED WALLPAPER PAGES AT XANGLES.COM/WALLPAPER now with cute little "Xangles.com" tags on evvvery singgle stinking !@#$ing one courtesy our new friend bot orb "Tagger" and our lustful craving to destroy the nonprofit spirit of Xangles with annoying marketing schemes. Tagger did all the work, yep. More of all this coming soon! (or maybe not).^1/26>> We are now fully migrated, resulting in incredibly faster php loading speeds. skipFron especially (being the only php on frangles anyway) is loading lightningly fast. Enjoy the new speedy loading times, their tardiness courtesy GoDaddy's infamous lack of initiative in automatically switching hosting accounts to better services of the same price.
[^ You might wonder from time to time about the totally different feel of Xangles and Frangles, and why we announce things here that seem like they belong on Xangles.com as news. The truth is, there are a lot of redundancies across the projects, and it just isn't possible to have separate everythings for each project. For instance, it would be very difficult to start 3 stock art sites (Xangles, Frangles, and Blorkk), and intermingle them, just as it would be difficult for you to check in with 3 different daily news sources, and so on and so forth. The handful of fractal images on Frangles & Blorkk are very special in that they're attempts to work fractals in thematically to the two sagas. You'll notice we only have 3 wallpapers currently. This is because not only does a new wallpaper have to have a "Frangles" feel, which is very hard to tie down, but it has to have some sort of blurb integrating it with the Frangles universe. The last time we tried to add one, it just stood out for awhile as non-Franglic. It took us awhile to figure out how it was non-Franglic, and how the hell to design "Franglic" wallpapers. We finally have a better idea, but at the moment Frangles wallpapers take no precedence to the new stock art site, as it's a fullesque commercialesque e-commerceesque professionalesque website. Truth is, there are so many zillions of little corners of Xangles, Frangles, & Blorkk, that we're much happier having one more thing to procrastinate with a good excuse (that it's difficult to work in fractals thematically to Frangles) that do a crappy and/or sell-out job of mangling up the fun feel of Frangles. Thanks for reading all this, God, you're bored (or lazy, having skipped right to the end; yes, we know, and we don't blame you).
1/25 7:17PM EST>> You may not see another update for 24-72 hours given GoDaddy's suggested migration of our hosting account to a secret special faster system that you get to know about if you finally call up and ask why the !@#$ things have been so slow for the entire duration of the development of your latest project. This is a great piece of bulsh news, not because it's false, but because it's just about totally pointless given we only post an update every few days anyway.
1/25>> New brick. You heard us write, errr, right, right? Go read.
1/19>> Our mission to pretend we're making money by spending money as if we were producing revenue continues. Here and here are clikable links that in addition to procrastinating me telling you what they are, they, you know what, I don't know what the hell I'm saying anymore. I just thought it would make me sound cool. FYI, that's a line from a Will Ferrel parody of the Matrix Revolutions. Squish told me to use it if I ever got half way through a sentance and lost my train of thought. He literally made me copy half the skit to my desktop with a lengthy explanation of how to incorporate it into an update blurb. However, apparently I'm just too tired to fully you know what? I don't know what I'm saying anymore. I just thought it would make me where the F*** is Jet with my coffee my brain can't think for shits. Oh, did you want to know what the links were? They're pretty self-explanatory inside the information that we've contracted a billion-dollar media coorporation to revolutionize the mockups into a thriving RRL e-commercse website. PayPal, lightboxes, user base, checkout, the whole works. (Or maybe it's just me and Jep working together to achieve a sloppy crude vague idea for another project that will never be.^1) Your frangle is as good as ours.
[^1 Jep and Chip have never been mentioned in the same sentence in the entire history of the Xangles, Frangles, Blorkk network. In fact, Jep has rarely been mentioned at all. This brings up basic questions about the intermingling of fiction and reality, as we've left it a bit fuzzy to what extent friters/xiters with cute aliases (Squish, Chip, Jet, Jep, Pixel, Plato, Poe, etc.) exist in real life. Are these just nicknames of real people? Or do we switch it around a bit and get inside each other's skins? Or is it just one fat elderly guy updating blogs from his blackberry? The total truth is elusive and always depends on your frangle, but, please note that we do sign one thing in cold stone (and essentially always have; this is nowhere near the first time we've said this), something we'd legally sign to on paper if ever the need for such solidity arose: What we present in terms of online personas generally reflects what's going on in real real life (RRL). For instance, if a foreign intelligence agency abducted someone heavily involved with Frangles and told them to get to work writing simply because there wasn't much going on and they were dead-ass bored (given the lack of evil international conspiracies nowadays with the global monitoring of all digital communication being extremely well-handled if I do say so myself), they would never update a RRL news item (such as most of the Frangles updates blurbs, e.g. this one) with the announcement, "So, we all took a week off from work to go cow-tipping in Ohio, USA, but our flight got redirected to Antartica, and now we're all freezing our asses off because we didn't bring the 30 layers of clothing that would at the utter least allow us a bit of armour against the rabid mutant penguins here that evolved from the stray radioactive radiation left behind by the obliteration of a nuclear power plant nobody knew was up here", unless we were directly forced to lie via the backing that the fraud was absolutely necessary for the preservation of the human race (and perhaps not even then), or it was actually true.^2]
[^2 Technically, of course, actually announcing this verbatim would be putting forth a joke given the way it's written, made humorous here only to entertain. To be very, strictly serious and clear (something rare for us), we would not report anything of the sort, worded humorously or otherwise, in a way that implies we're reporting what's factually going on (given that we're not technically in Antartica). It is fathomable, of course, that we'd engage in real real life unorthodox events simply for their comedic value (for instance, we might actually decide to get on a plane and take a vacation to Ohio to go cow tipping just for the inspiration of doing something so ridiculously wild), but, once again, we wouldn't add in the Antartica and nuclear penguin part without seriously implying it was a joke. We might embelish in such situations, for instance, we might say that 3 friters went to Ohio, when only 2 went and sent a postcard to the third saying "Wish you were here", but would be the rough extent of an embelishment/etc. If you're wondering why we go to such lengths solidifying and explaining ad nauseum these precisions, there are a few reasons in general, which you'd know thoroughly if you'd been reading these ridiculously lengthly footnotes since the dawn of our existence:
A) RRL legal dangers (fraud accusations, identity theft, etc.) are not outside of the ballpark of reality for us or something/someone related to us to face someday. A complete and thorough fabrication of a person that doesn't exist at all (something we do not do) isn't too far a stone's throw from seeking a stolen U.S. social security number and a fake driver's license. It just isn't worth it, even if we were comfortable with outright lies.
B) Something else extremely relevant that I can't come up with given the !@#$ vaccuming going on in the above apart, which, incidentally, is an RRL apartment right above where I'm typing, me being whoever I'm you know what, I don't know what I'm saying, I just thought it would make me sound cool. (I'm only being evasive and convoluted because I don't technically want to get into whether this is Chip or Squish as it would stand out as a biblical clarification among all these truth talk, one we're not quiiiite ready to dish out. (You may, however, let all mentions of Squish and Chip in Frangles collectively stand as explanation of who and how they are.
C) It's fun masochistic humor to write all these footnotes that no one anywhere will ever read for any reason. Your blue-moon glance down here to evaluate the intrinsic grammar of half a sentence to see if we're just typing total jibberish or are actually saying coherent things, makes a quite compelling argument that we're competent, coherent, organized, down to earth people obsessed with detail so thoroughly that we must be doing exaxctly what we're saying when we report that we have eighty unwritten novels we for some strange reason haven't gotten around to uploading yet. (Not quite eighty, more like 1 or 2, and that's the solid, RRL truth!) (No joke.) (Not even a disgusting sub-sub set of footers so ridiculously extensive as to make you not want to ever come back, their sheer length sensable whether or not you've ever even read a single full footnote of ours.)]
1/14>> Solely per Jet's generous donantion of smuggling his parents' credit card information out to us, we've started hiring and paying off contractors who've done and/or we hope will do things we really should have done or be doing our damn selves, including Jet. To be very clear, this doesn't mean Frangles has made any money. It means we're so sick of not making money, that we just made up some money to fabricate the idea that we're so profitable we can start heading toward use of the word "revenue". REVENUE. Big word. More on all this later, e.g. whenever Jet's parents figure the situation out, and/or somebody we've hired fails to see the humor in this paragraph and accuses us of fraud based purely on the satirical tone and content. (We're not committing fraud, FYI, nor are we irresponsible with money, perhaps accepting the slight latitute we grant ourselves when reporting factual matters that are generally mostly true under almost any interpretation or frangle, barring Squish's absurd semi-RRL phylical frangle that nothing at all is absolutely true whatsoever, in any sense, i.e. that every proposition capable of being uttered or written by any member of humanity is always, intrinsically, half-true, and absolutely nothing else. If you can't tell, I'm mocking it.)
1/2>> Welcome to day 2 of I'm- So- Not- Going- To- Start- Doing- Some- Sort- of- Sequence- Joke- that would take a full year to oh whatever.
1/1/2012>> Welcome to the wild wonderful year - assuming you haven't stumbled onto my fraud of posting this several months before the new year, or it feels like that - of my single new years resolution to take the 30 seconds of work to archive this page to a "2011" file and begin a new up index. And by "me", I mean "Chip", because it's not my bloody job. My personal resolution is to mind Chip's absurdly ideal friter rules for not referring to oneself in the first person when updating this page. Or rather, the page it will become when Chip achieve's my new year's resolution for him. Did that make sense? Bleh, go read something, there's too much here and you haven't read a damn thing yet. That's your New Years resolution. Read Frangles so thoroughly that we'll have no excuse not to actually further the damn thing. Or at least one less one (would that be zero?).
CLICK THE YEARS (IN BLUE LINKS) AT
THE TOP OF THE PAGE FOR OLDER NEWS
BOTTOM-PAGE NOTE >> This note STILL, even now that its at the bottom of the page, adds absolutely no value whatsoever to the value of frangles.com/up (where you are). Tune in next time when another equally pointless but hysterical note (or at least a near-identical note) replaces this one. No guarantee at all on when that will be. FYI for anyone who doesn't realize it, this note is purely a parody making fun of Chip's "Top-page note>>" tag, now acronymed "TPN" at the top of the page. Tune in next time when, wait, I said that... last time... and now I'm making things longer and worse... and now it looks the same at the ened as it did last month so you won't know I chnaged stuff in the midle... Wait, now it doesn't. THAT (SORT OF) MADE SENSE!
TPN (Top-Page Note) >> All the published Writers Bricks on frangles.com are now (at least crudely) connected, forming the first effective 300-page novel on frangles.com. To read it, start on THIS PAGE, and click "next" at the bottom of every page. (Or experiment writing on your own on skipFron.NET)