__________
Skip--the closet thing to an official phoneticist in the park--looked over the pigeons' proposal for the condensing of the name "Ryan Doyle" to "Rad" to bypass their backfired park notice to not think up any real people into the park. They'd decided "Ryan Doyle" was a real person, but this conflicted with their disclaimer, so they figured a fictional person doing all the same things that Ryan Doyle would do except with a slightly different designation, would work. Any chance this harbored immorality or fraud had been thrown out of their tiny brains long ago. The only relevant issue was whether the change constituted *enough* of a phonetic difference to carry on with their plan.
__________
Skip had thoroughly compared and contrasted the two terms: "Rad" contained three of the same letters as "Ryan Doyle", consecutively barring exclusions, and was a close match for an audible condensation of the words, for instance, "Ryan Doyle" said ten times as fast as one would normally say it. Then again, "Rad" only contained about 25% of the syllables and 33% of the letters as "Ryan Doyle", no small difference. Also, the letters R-a-d seemed sporadically selected from "Ryan Doyle", with no apparent pattern of which ones were chosen for the shorter term, barring the fact of them being respectively consecutive barring exclusions. With absolutely endless short words that are contained in some way or another within longer words, this seemed a huge plus on the pigeons' hopes for polarity between "Ryan Doyle" and "Rad".
__________
Ed and Eagle gave a resentful flupluple at how long the process was taking. They were quite tired of the debate by now and were becoming increasingly antsy for the final decision, albeit the lack of any authority to *make* an official decision. Skip sighed thoughtfully with an increasing ponderous tone the pigeons in no way shared.
__________
"Well, I suppose it all boils down to whether 'Ryan Doyle' is a 'rad' type of person. If he isn't, no one would call him 'Rad', hence it might suffice as a substitute."
__________
"But we *want* him to be rad," replied Eagle.
__________
"Yah, an old lady throwing bird seed is okay for awhile but we want to hang around someone more agile now," Ed added.
__________
"You mean you want 'Ryan' to be rad, or 'Rad' to be rad?"
__________
"Ryan," said Eagle.
__________
"But we have to call him 'Rad' since the park notice says any resemblance of park people to real life people has to be purely coincidental."
__________
"Idiots!" Todd declared, and fluplupled over to his two friends to back his one-word reprimand. "You can't just substitute one name for another and do all the same things with it. Why don't you do something more productive and think up a term for the idiot process you're using to get around the point."
__________
"Red tape?" suggested Ed.
__________
"Red herring?" offered Eagle.
__________
" 'Red *Crumbs*'!" declared Todd.
__________
"What's 'Red Crumbs'?"
__________
"That's what Rad will sell," triumphed Todd.
__________
Ed and Eagle, completely unaware of Todd's complex ploy to distract everyone involved from the obvious phonetic fraud--including the readers--by going straight into what the three of them wanted to do, cleverly skipping the entire issue of whether or not it was appropriate or legal, were already lost in this new development in Rad's character.
__________
"But what is it?"
__________
"It's like bread crumbs, except you drop the 'b'."
__________
"And the 'a'."
__________
"Ba," said Eagle, not quite sure whether he was trying to create the noise of an ostracized lamb, or express disgust in a way that would require another 'h' to fully express.
__________
"Maybe we should invent 'Scrabble' instead of food or people."
__________
"Let's table that for later."
__________
"Table Scrabble?"
__________
Skip, bored by now, gave a confused look.
__________
"Shouldn't Rad have some greater purpose in life than selling Red Crumbs?"
__________
"What does an agile person need purpose for?" alliterated Ed.
__________
"I think there's something pretty purposeful about running around a lot."
__________
"He doesn't just run around; he's going to jump around."
__________
"Fly!"
__________
"He's going to fly!"
__________
"People can't fly", scolded Todd.
__________
"He'll be the first one," insisted Ed.
__________
"What if he does things most people can't do?" agreed Eagle.
__________
"I refuse to think up a flying person into the park. End of story."
__________
"Well, he has to do something other than be agile."
__________
"Act?"
__________
"But he already acts agile."
__________
"Film?"
__________
"He'll be too fast for anybody to film."
__________
"Direct?"
__________
"What's he going to direct?"
__________
"He can direct other agile people toward Red Crumbs."
__________
"People usually don't need to be directed toward food."
__________
"And pigeons can usually find it on their own."
__________
"Art?"
__________
"Too broad."
__________
"Philosophy?"
__________
"Philosophy!"
__________
"He'll be the greatest flying philosopher ever!"
__________
"We're *not* giving Rad *wings!"* finalized Todd.
__________
"Well he can still be a philosopher," retracted Eagle.
__________
"I thought we decided against the existence of art and philosophy."
__________
"Rad can revive them."
__________
"So what do we call it?"
__________
"Call what?"
__________
" 'That which an agile person with purpose does'."
__________
"Sounds pretty important."
__________
"There isn't much more than moving around and philosophizing."
__________
"About all there is to our park."
__________
"We'll call it 'our park', then."
__________
"Let's make it a single word."
__________
" So, 'ourpark'?"
__________
"Too boring. Do something nifty with it."
__________
"Like what?"
__________
"Misspell it, anagram it, reverse the syllabols, anything."
__________
" 'Krapruo'?"
__________
"Neh."
__________
" 'Ourkrap'?"
__________
"Too pigeonesque."
__________
" 'Parkour'?"
__________
"That's ridiculous. No one would ever learn 'parkour'."
__________
"I guess it's 'ourpark', then."
__________
"Great" fluplupled Eagle. " 'Ourpark' will be the official, uh--"
__________
"Art?"
__________
"Method?"
__________
"Thing?"
__________
"The primary thing that people with purpose in the park do!"
__________
"Great! Rad will be the best flying ourparkist in the park!" declared Todd.
__________
"I thought you said he's not going to fly?"
__________
"No, I mean metaphorically. You know, like, when Gandalf says 'Fly, you Fools' before he falls in the pit with the balrog. He didn't literally mean, 'Morph into birds and get airborne where you're harder for the orcs to target'."
__________
"He never would have fallen off that cliff if he new ourpark."
__________
"Wow. You guys just ruined that for *everybody* who hasn't seen Lord of the Rings."
__________
"Well, I didn't actually say 'he dies' or anything."
__________
"Idiot!"
__________
"What?"
__________
Skip--who'd been dozing off purely due to the dizzy inconsistency of not having spoken in quite awhile, jerked to attention at the lack of alliteration of the past few lines spoken by the pigeons, as they'd been quite regularly alliterative prior to that. There was nothing to say except something critical and interesting to avoid the same fate again. "What if ourpark already exists in the real world? Seems an obvious word to have coined. There must be lots of parks with agile people with purpose."
__________
"But *we* cointed it."
__________
"It's *our* ourpark."
__________
" 'Ourourpark'?
__________
"I still like 'parkour'."
__________
"Let's worry about all these details later."
__________
"Hey I bet you 20 red crumbs Ryan's already in the park."
__________
"*Rad*, not *Ryan!* What are you trying to do, get him killed?"
__________
"Sorry."
__________
With this, the pigeons fluplupled off, the scene's friter deciding it was good enough for now to stand as a draft.