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The pigeons flew up to Rad as if he was about to vanish if they didn't catch him and stick him in a jar. They had been through a mighty quest to get this far: They had thought up Parkour Park. They'd thought up the real life person "Ryan Doyle". They had renamed "parkour" to "ourpark" and "Ryan Doyle" to "Rad" to avoid any likeness lawsuits. They'd traced his fading trail through the park, playground, Greece, Brazil, and Kuwait, and most importantly, had discovered "Mardin" was a *place* in Turkey, not the name of an actual turkey.
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Now, here he finally was in Springfield, Somewhere. There was no time for an introduction, they simply dove into the only thing they wanted to know.
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"How many Red Crumbs have you sold today, Rad?"
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"I bet he's sold at least a thousand!"
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Rad replied calmly as if other pigeons had often asked him this question. "You know, dude, there's a lot more to me and ourpark than advertising Red Crumbs. It's basically just a side thing."
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Eagle, crushed and dizzy, fell from the air.
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"Like what?" Todd asked.
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"Artistic expression, movement efficiency, goal setting, safety awareness, problem solving, purpose fulfilment, crowd pleasing, stunt doubling--"
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All three pigeons flustered, annoyed at the barage of words they didn't know.
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"Smaller words, Rad."
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"Yah, Pigeon, not French, dude."
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"Tricking through the air as safely as possible?"
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"What's a trick?" they asked.
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"It's-- Here, look, can you do this?" Rad leapt backward into the air and flipped himself over vertically 360 degrees.
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"Whoawhowha... what the hell was that?"
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"Backflip. Now you try."
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The pigeons tried clumisly with mild progress.
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"Great, now you have something to work on." Rad began to frontflip away, but the pigeons flew right in front of him, showing no sign that they would fly away if he were to smash straight into them.
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"Okay, so your life is about showing people precisely what to do so they can sell Red Crumbs, too?"
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"Yah, Rad, give us your full list of moves! We'll learn every single one!"
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Rad shook his head to dampen the headache of how pigeons who could talk could be so daft. Ed took this to mean he didn't have such a list of moves.
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"He's not a bird, dumbass. How could he have figured out every possible thing a pigeon can do physically? He can't even fly."
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"He can fly metaphorically."
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"That's not the same."
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"Well what's the point in hanging around him, if he can't teach us anything?"
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Rad moved to speak but Todd flapped his wings in a movement that said, "Don't worry, I got this." Todd took Ed and Eagle aside and tried to explain. "Look, Rad can't teach us to be pigeons. He's here to inspire us to be creative and figure out cool movements ourselves. We're not supposed to do backflips like him, we're supposed to *use them as a springboard to express ourselves artistically in our own ways and styles*. Right Rad?"
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The pigeons looked back toward Rad, but he was already nowhere in sight.
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"Hey, where'd he go?"
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"Don't you see? It's like in Spiderbird."
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"Oh, right, he has more pigeons to go help."
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"He's like a rubber leprechaun."
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"We were lucky to catch him at all."
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"Come on, let's go try this backflip stuff."
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"We'll find some rad tuxedos. That'll be our style!"
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"Yahyahah!"