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Welcome to Frangles
    free online humor novels
 
 
MOBILE
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Earth
   E a r t h





 



Kroffonia
Kroffonia

 


Generika
Generica
Flutonia
Flutonia
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Zeroa

Z e r o a


       
wtf is a frangle?


ABOUT FRANGLES (from one frangle anyway)

Frangles (or Xangles saga 1) is a multi-book fractal nonlinear humor saga.  It begins as a seven nonlinear books (books you can read in any order and experience a full beginning to end plot arc), and evolves to many more books as time goes on, all with an intense and brain mangling structure that will carefully be revealed over time (as not to implode a potential reader's brain), rather than writing prose by writing one book, then deciding to write a sequel, then another, then another, with minimal plans for the structure of the entire series.  It's so complex and kickass that the current friter friting this summary ('friter' means "frangles writer") is just too lazy to bother diving into it and explain it, partly because it's just too damn big for this little scroll box, but also because it would ruin everything for everyone anyway.  The best way to read Frangles is to start with the frangle that Frangles is seven books, and go from there.

So, from that frangle, Frangles can be said to be a fractal nonlinear seven book series of humorous novels, mixing Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett-style humor with creative philosophy and science that parodies just about every science fiction film, fantasy book, horror novel, video game, and philosophical work, ever written.  They are written (or would be if they were written)
in a radical nonlinear way, such that you can read them in any order, and get the full experience of a full, plot driven saga.  Frangles is like a magnificent city-sized art sculpture you walk around--or even through--and whichever way you walk, you get a better picture of the whole the more you walk.  And when you've seen it all, and have forgotten what the hell the first thing you looked at looked like, you're finally bored and curious enough to walk through the whole freaking thing again, knowing how the whole thing connects--and seeing the entire structure of angles--from a whole new frangle of frangles.

Frangles covers the time line of the known universe, of which it is eventually pointed out is quite a low number of known universes (or "kus") to exist in all existence (also called the "Fractal").  Hence it is named "Okuaka": the Only Known Universe Anybody Knows About, and Frangles is its story (followed by Blorkk, the story of the second known universe, which is told via an even more brain-mangling new medium coined "skit-prose," where even the individual lines of dialogue connect with all others).  It tells this story from seven frangles--seven points of view--which is of course just a bullshit excuse of re-hashing the exact same thing for marketable purposes just like every other seven-novel saga ever written.

Book One (Frangles: Flutonia) begins at the big bang, where what would have remained nothingness otherwise, gets bored and breaks itself apart into all living life and matter.  There's not much to do, so it starts hallucinating itself into a corporeal reality.  This vague, bored solidification of the boringness of everything, starts to form physical matter, the second stage of the known universe: what science currently calls space-time.

Book Two (Kyle Kirby of Earth), takes place current day with a distracted schizofranglic teenage protagonist with ADHD, who has the gift of imagining that which is beyond our lame limited existence on this measly planet, allowing him to shift around and experience our main stories from many different personal frangles.  Since it's the only book to take place current day, anyone who doesn't like science fiction, fantasy, or new age creative philosophy, had better stay the hell away from the others.

Book Three (Frangles Flurth), is a horror novel/film spoof (as each book is a spoof on a very different genre), parodying Stephen King's books and films, as well as popular horror series like Cube, Saw, Alien, Ring, and Richard Simmon's Sweatin' to the Oldies tapes.  Flurth takes place in the not too far future, as to be able to parody sci-fi/horror while still being able to parody horror that takes place current day.  It starts off at a place at a generic horror-ready setting called Peach Beach (which is a blatant rip off of Dark City's "Shell Beach," just as just about everything in the Frangles universe is a blatant rip off of something else, or more often, ten other things), and progresses to other rip-off settings such as a Resident Evil-esque mansion and a Cube-like labyrinth, to achieve a condensed degree of parody in a single book and not have to bother writing any others.

Book Four (Frangles Florbb), is a direct parody of every science fiction book or movie ever written by man, and two or three written in a nearby hyspacial realm that no one around current day Earth here will ever read or care about even if they could even read IDS-7 Franglish.  Particularly, Asimov's Foundation, Star Wars, Star Trek, Ender's Game, and the most cherished science fiction work of art of all time, Dude, Where's My Car?  Did you here me?  Mark, dude, where's my car?  I'm in the middle of an important Frangles blurb, no I can't look up the registration information.  Well that's your problem, it's just a ****ing towing ticket, you're the one who crashed it into a merry go round for god's sake, you pay for it.  No, get the hell out, I'm in the middle of this dictation and my krforb is probably dumb enough to be dictating what I'm saying right at this moment, not to mention not giving a thought to starting a new paragraph because it's probably already

sickeningly long.  Fine, you do that, I have to get back to this.  Anyway, Book Seven--what, Orbo?  I'm on five?  Oh right.  So, anyway, book five (Frangles Kroffonia), is likewise a fun sci-fi/fantasy world where the sciences theorized about in the most futuristic strict science-fiction have evolved and become so advanced that they begin to seem like magic.  This science-magic is called "tekica," which is probably a blatant rip off of just about any Final Fantasy half-tech half-magic technique.  In By the time of Kroffonia, the way we perceive planets by now begins its evolution to the infinite flat lands of modern fantasy, as may or may not eventually be coined turbograffology (uberduper wormhole hyperspace IDS-like sciences), make it easier to "blink" around anywhere in Okuaka, forgetting the fact that the lands we stand on are actually roundish.  (This is accomplished via a very real brilliant and engrossing complex system of science-magic that no one will ever bother to put in a coherent form for you).

Book Six brings us to a generic fantasy world called Generika, which is (quite appropriately) a parody of all collective major fantasy, including stories, novels, sagas, movies, and video games like Final Fantasy I and II and III and IV and V and VI and VII and VIII and IX and X and XI and XII and XIII and Mark, I told you I'm not paying for that damn thing, now get the **** out of here and get my car back before it's impounded.  I, uh, I, XIV, XV, and so on.  Not to mention the most beloved classic of all time, Secret of Mana 2.  It parodies Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time, J.R.R. Tolkein's Lord of the Rings, Feist's Magician / Riftwar saga, Eragon, Clan of the Cave Bear, and any other story you can think of where a clueless, helpless, initially brain dead but infinitely gifted prodigy saves the world facing a sudden apocalyptic jeopardy.

Book Seven: Frangles Zeroa, will be written through the horrors of writers block by facing the plot of pure vague thought imploding the known universe.  Near the big crunch of Okuaka, the disciplines binding the universe have progressed from the vague idea of writing Book 1 to current physical science to graffology (slightly more advanced science) to future science to tekica (science-magic) to moka (magic), to finally become so advanced as to progress (back) to pure thought, the inverse of science, where science has become so advanced as to be invisible and infinitely developed.  The last book is hence a philosophical work, using humor to disguise a failed philosophy thesis that was never published.  It's chiefly a parody of Plato's Republic, where Okuaka faces the question, now that all has been done, what's next?  Then proceeds to rebuild the known universe from scratch just as Plato builds his city from scratch, but as Plato's city is founded on past cities, everyone eventualy just gives up and decide to reboot the universe and let the same damn thing happen over again.  And again.  And again.

Perhaps Frangles will be an online saga or not, but for now it is, because no one's bothering to read it right now and it doesn't make a damn bit of difference anyway.  The great benefit of an online nonlinear saga is that nonlinearity requires the ability to click around at random if you want to compare and contrast frangles (scenes going on at the same time from different points of view).  As Frangles builds in complexity via the frangle that the frangle that Frangles is seven books rather than 14 or more is total bull, it will require more of an ability to click around, especially if, oh let's say, Frangles breaks apart into thousands of smaller pieces re-arrangable into quintillions of permutations of books and sagas, especially for the 5% of the human population blessed with ADHD.  It's--what Orbo?  A publisher's reading?  Damnit, uh--sorry, that is to say, that as Frangles builds in complexity, online nonlinearity will be intensely helpful to order whatever permutation of material will be printed out and mailed to the reader, who may want to read Kyle Kirby's high school years straight through, or seven years of Kyle in ninth grade each in an alternate universe.

Of what's here, check out, but check back; the Frangles saga may not grow at a steady rate, because part of the writing technique is to write fifty chapters before publishing one, but all 5040 books will defin--huh Orbo?--sorry, all seven books will definitely be written eventually.  The whole XFBS7 network contains at least 400 pages of material including Squish's homepage if we cheat and throw it in calling it an entire Xangles saga, so there's plenty to read if you're bored.  Mainly up with lots of stuff to read is Blorkk: The 2nd Known Universe (the sequel to Frangles), and Squish7, the homepage of the only known Frangles friter.  You can check out a full sitemap of XFBS7 material at XFBS7.NET, where there'll be updates listed whenever something new is added to Xangles, Frangles, Blorkk, or Squish7.

Of course, instead, if you prefer, you could just toggle between the 400 Xangles pages and press F5 repeatedly to discover instantly when there's more.  Either way, it's all worth it to finally get to the end of the whole whole damn thing, because as everyone at the end of time points out, the end of time is worth th--Orbo!  What the hell are you doing to that dolphin?  I'm a letter and one word from finishing this thing, you're being distracting, I--what the hell do you mean I'm nowhere near done?....I didn't answer what question?...Wtf is a frangle??....That's simply implied!  Earthers may have mangled Jumper's final phylo thesis into "Dude,Where's My Car?", but they're not entirely brain dead.  I think they can figure out what a "frangle" is from the context....Are you kidding, of course I know what a frangle is....No, why would I tell you?....Alright, whatever, you do that Orbo, I'm going after mark.  Where are the keys, are--is that !@#$ing thing still on?  Quick, hit back on firef--