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Chap 1.3 - Page 4frangles: Skip book 1: Writer's Bricks

            So now you're a vet."  Skip and two pigeons stepped into a small, busily-lit office.  It only had one occupant--a heavyset and exceptionally middle-aged woman who was the single cause of the room looking busy--busier than it would have if there were ten occupants--who sat at a very haughty and important looking desk, as if if the stability of the known universe depended on its the management skills of its occupant and it was hence the second most important inanimate object in the universe.
            The first was clearly the bright glowing neon-blue seven foot radius button taking up the entire left office wall.
            The button stood tall as if with folded arms with the unspoken words "Push me, and you'll learn a thing or two about quantum-repellent security force field space."  The secretary was busily typing at a pear-shaped desktop computer as if the thing was about to explode and nuke a billion-mile radius if she didn't do her job with maximum efficiency.  Every press of a key on her keyboard was like a click of a team of emergency architects staple-gunning a hammock around a live nuclear bomb in hopes it will keep the explosion back.  Click.  Staple.  Staple.  Click.
            Todd walked carefully up to the button with a caution that seemed uncanny for a fluttery pigeon.  He somehow seemed serious, as if he'd suddenly remembered he'd been a legendary adventurer in a past life and was quite frused to discover his archnemesis temporarily encased in carbonite here and now.
            Staple.  Click.  Clickityclicklickclick.  "You best get those pigeons out of here before I hit my pigeon vaporization key."  Id and the other took this infinitely seriously and fluttered out the door to the safety of the park sidewalk.  Todd simply continued staring at the glowing blue button as if her words didn't apply to a thrice-knighted legendary warrior.
             Skip felt an odd sort of peer pressure to act similarly.  As far as they'd seen so far, he and the pigeons had had a very similar lapse of memory, and the idea they would recover faster than him made him feel a delinquent in an anonymous support group for recovering survivors of existential lobotomy operations.  Since his treja vu told him he'd definitely been in the office at least one or two times before--and yet had no memory of ever seeing a giant glowing blue button in his lifetime or any past reincarnation--it wasn't hard to fake the half-lie to fit in with Todd's sudden partial recovery and improving long-term prognosis
He quickly decided the best course of action to save face would be to assume his vague memories were on target and inquire about the thing he couldn't remember ever seeing.
            "Ah, what have we here?  Something new?"
            Darlene raised an eyebrow.  "I'd forgotten a few extra things I have to do today and decided I don't have time to deal with your amnesia problem, so to compensate I flicked the decloak lever next to the button you're gawking at hoping it will jump start your your plot and get you out of my hair for the day."
            "But what is it?"
            "The most important button in the known universe.  Nothing you need worry about."  Clickety click clacky clickity...
            "What does it do?"
            "Dammed if I know."  Click clik click...
            "What do you think it does?"
            "No idea."
            "You must have theory."
            "But, supposing you did know, and were holding back on telling me for your own twisted, manipulative purposes, what--hypothetically speaking--would that purpose be?"
            "I'm a secretary.  I don't deal with hypotheticals."  Clickyclack cleckity.  "And if I did, I would be much too busy to make an exception at the moment."
            Todd hadn't moved from his regal, introspective stance.  It was quite disconcerting behavior from a pigeon.  The other two--in contrast--were poking in and out of the room watching Darlene's fingers like your standard pigeon might keep walking back to a lumberjack in a park who had threatened them with a chainsaw, while deciding on the minimal time period it would take before he got tired of being mean to them and threw out some bread crumbs to shoo them off.  They watched Darlene closely, and every time she moved to hit a key they hadn't seen her hit before, they fled back out in case it was the one she'd threatened to murder them with.
            "Alright, suppose a heavenly messenger of light descended from heaven and told you god has granted you one wish that you could have anything under the stars you could think up, but the fine print of the order form he handed you said the wish had to be something to do with the purpose of this button, what would you wish its purpose to be?"
            "Are there any hidden fees?"
            "Shipping and handling to send the form back up?"
            "Just a stamp."
            "Mandatory life insurance for the angel in the unlikely situation he gets struck by a bolt of lightning, jet, air balloon, blimp, projectile missile, or any other object at all not listed in the above objects?"  Click click click.
            "Overdraft fees for every extra wish I make over my limit if I forget after the first that my balance already hit zero?"
            "No.  Your entire temporary membership expires the moment your wish is granted."
            "In that case, I'd wish the button re-initializes the big bang prematurely and gives you something more important to worry about than bothering me with your amnesia problem."  Click, clack, click.  "Now shoo, all of you.  You have your important crisis, now go figure it out yourselves."
            Todd finally broke his introspective silence with an eerily poetic monotone.  "And its glow had all the beaming of a shadow's eyes deceiving."  Darlene loudly thwacked a red button on her keyboard sending Id and his friend fluppering out the door for their lives.  "Shoo!"
           Skip was as confused as he could ever remember being.  Todd looked solemnly confused himself, and wandered out the door after his friends, soaking in some sort of personal dilemma.  Skip was too dumbstruck to worry about issues of peer pressure, and simply followed the pigeons' lead.  
           "Riddles in the blue glow."


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