| Chap 1.1 - Page 1 | frangles: Skip book 1: Writer's Bricks |
It
was the fourth word of the very first line of the beginning of the
beginning of the beginning of Skip's short life as an obscure frwoa
writer somewhere between the dawn of the dawn of time and seven o'clock
Monday morning. Nobody anywhere had any memory of
anything before it, for many reasons. Firstly, nobody existed,
and neither did anywhere. There was no what, at a time when there
was no when, and no one new why. Had they known, they also might
have wondered how any of this was so, if how itself not been completely
off the day's planner to theorize about or even guess at. Had it
been, Skip might have written why, if he'd not been cursed since the
beginning of the beginning of the beginning of his short life as an
obscure frwoa writer somewhere between the dawn of the dawn of time and
7:01 Monday morning... with the mind manglingliest case of writer's
block anyone would ever have. Like, ever.
If Skip had had a job (if he'd existed at all), his job (had he
known about it) would have had been to write the very first frwoa of
the 9 X 10 to the unknownth nanit progression of the known
univierse, which at the time Skip would have existed if he and time
had, had not yet been named. Naming the known universe, in fact
would have had been the greatest thing that Skip ever would have had
done, had he had bothered. Had he had had, it also would have had
been remembered as the most significant historical naming of the known
universe, in the history of the known universe, soon to be known as
Okuaka. It also would have had been the most infamous naming of
Okuaka in the history of Okuaka, since it would have had been the only
one in it.
"Okuaka!" Skip exclaimed. "Only Known Universe Anyone Knows
About! That's what I would have just now named Okuaka if I had
existed just a moment ago." Since this was the first thing that
Skip--or any writer of any sort for that matter--had ever said, he was
immediately hit with a sledge hammer rush of infinite mixed
nostalgia and regret just after he'd said it. Or thought it, or
whatever. He wasn't really quite sure what had happened. He
just supposed that there were probably a billion better first things to
ever say or think. But, because he wasn't sure, he decided to say
it again. "Yes," he finally concluded, "there were definitely a
billion better thoughts I could have had than 'Okuaka'. Like
'Okuaaweeka.' Or 'Ok.' I think."
Thinking "I think" led Skip to think some more. Because
there was little else to think about, he thought about when in the
history of a known universe it was most appropriate to think "I think"
and to ponder what it means to ponder. He suppposed the pinnacle
historical moments for this were the beginning and end of time.
Since it was impractical to appriase the latter's value via the
the benefit of hindsight and long established empirical data, he
decided the best time to think "I think" was the former. He
considered rejecting this line of thought in light of his infinite need
for it to be true (since he'd already thought "I think" and nothing
could now be done about it), but the subjectivity itself led Skip to
skip the thought completely.
" 'Skip to skip,' " Skip quoted mirthfully, awkwardly plucking the
first catch phrase ever spoken in the history of Okuaka (or so Skip
thought) out of context and right into a fad that would last less than
a fraction of a billenia. " 'Billennia.' Skip rolled the
word off his something-or-other located near the top of what might be
his body, which he decided should be defined as a localized physical
manifestation of his nonlocalized spiritual consciousness. Or at
least, he decided he would have decided this had he posessed
either. Had he had either (or both), and was right, he would have
also decided to call the latter a "soup." "Body and soup! My body and soup are one, since I have
neither. Though I suppose one could argue that two lacks of
something are just as likely to be separate non-entities as they are to be equated as one substance. Or perhaps both are true. What a radical thought!"
Skip had no time for a second one as the train of thought slowed down
and his body and soup got off at the first tot stop Skip thought he'd
ever gotten off at. ||< (last) (next) ||> |